Faith: My Alternate Power Source

Yes, I believe in God! There are no answers to Calvin's questions and I would be lying if I said I haven't had similar questions on occasions. But, I do believe in God.

I have grown up in a God-believing family, where various actions were part of regular life - pray, go to the temple and also have fear of God. I was made to understand concept of truth being God's path, how good always triumphs over bad - of how God sees everything and about God's omnipresence.

By mid-teens, I am not sure if I started believing in myself as a non-believer, but I definitely started doubting my understanding of God - as I was made to believe growing up. I started questioning the general approach of showing faith in God. I couldn't do both - accept the concept of 'omnipresence' and believe there was something special about visiting temples. I couldn't accept I needed an intermediary (a.k.a Pundit) to make God see & hear me. This was the time when almost all of man's collective actions towards God started to seem either commercial or superficial in nature - but definitely not out of love for God.

I owe it to my parents for allowing me to find my own path to God. They realised I wasn't happy doing / following religious acts. Neither of them pushed me to follow a path just because it had been part of our family's traditional values. I think they could see that I was generally against the idea of showing my faith in a particular manner than question God's presence or even significance.

The freedom I got from my parents helped me explore my own path and find my answers. When things were going my way, I didn't even care to think about God - but the moment there was a slight hiccup, I couldn't help but reach out to God for help. This was the first sign for me that I believed - I accepted that I am not in control of everything that happens to me and that, from time to time, I need a hand to guide me. Obviously, I have never sensed an actual 'hand' that helped and guided me. Something did, inexplicably so.

The various situations where at first I didn't know what to do, didn't believe if I will manage to prevail / survive...asking for help, keeping faith in God helped. These situations taught me one of the most important lessons about God - much like Terminator's alternate power source, God is the alternate power source for me. Anytime I doubt myself, worry about my own ability and feel depleted fighting my battles...all that I need to do it reach out to God. This alternate power may not necessarily be the power to prevail over all hurdles or win every battle, but it definitely helps in survival. It is the power to prevail over pain, disappointment and loss.

As I have understood my faith in God, I am sure, each person needs to understand his / her own concept of God - whether they believe in God or not and why. There isn't a common path that all can follow to reach and understand God. For me, God is a power source and a guiding hand - I am sure for others God could be something else entirely, more meaningful or even less.

It is not based on any religion, it is not based on any written text or spoken word - it is not about anyone or anything else...but it is about how an individual looks at God and what kind of a relationship that individual wants to have with God. In my view - the clearer the understanding, the stronger the faith - the better is the individual's relationship with God! Faith, after all, comes from within and at least in my case, is about my inner strength.